just come out here and I will go home with you...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
