At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
