I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
