Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
