I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
