Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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