a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
