I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have fence marks all over my body
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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