And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
