After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
