Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
