i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
