Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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