eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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