do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
