Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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