Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am mentally ready for anal.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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