What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
