dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
