U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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