I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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