I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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