Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
