tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
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you didnt know i had herpes?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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