I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
