So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
