it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
