And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nicole vs. Life
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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