We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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