the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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