you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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