shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
