i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
