i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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