he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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