I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
