Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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