we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
