It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
