I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
