New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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