And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
