Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
