Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
