She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
