So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
