Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
