if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
