So drunk its hurt
Buhtt sex?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
