wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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