I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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