epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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