D3 body, D1 cock
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
