I must be too annoying 4 u.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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