hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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