he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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