i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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