Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
