were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize