we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
