Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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